Late Bloomer

My 5 Favorite Ways to Ground and Connect with My Body

April 6th, 2023
Learning to regulate my emotions and my anxiety has been key in both my physical healing and maintaining camaraderie with a body I was at odds with for decades. Especially in the last three years, as I’ve overcome ED and fought chronic illness, I’ve seen my body transform a few times (right along with my mind). This has been a beautiful process, and I’m so grateful for my progress, but it’s not without discomfort and challenge.

In order to make decisions and take action from a place of peace and reason rather than emotion, numbing, and dissociation, I’ve learned that I need to constantly ground myself and reconnect with my body.

Here are my 5 favorite ways to do so:

1) Breathwork: I LOVE @stevielwright_ and the @balance app.

2) Walks: I started going for walks to replace the workouts that weren’t serving me on my weight gain journey, and now I’ve discovered their healing power! They also get this indoor cat outside into nature here an there, and that is a powerful antidote to anxiety and disconnection in and of itself.

3) Defusion: This is a powerful tool is used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to detach ourselves from our thoughts. I use the following steps to detach from anxious thoughts.
- Identify the thought-“That’s a worry thought.”
- Thank my mind-“Thank you for this feedback, mind!”
- Observe with Curiosity-“Is this helpful?”
- Shift focus-“I’m going to focus on ____.” (some sort of simple task)
- Remind myself that it will pass eventually.
4) Gratitude: I write down three things for which I’m grateful each morning and review the list when I’m feeling anxious or ungrounded.

5) Spontaneous Solo Dance: there is an innumerable amount of research behind the benefits of movement set to music. I love to put in my favorite music (or even no music at all) and shake off my funk. Just a few minutes of this boosts my mood and any negative thoughts I may battle about my body.

I hope these tips are helpful to you. I’d love to continue the conversation! You can find me on the ‘gram at @bailey_bowerman. I’d love to hear how you use these techniques or if you have other ways of grounding, connecting with your body, and overcoming anxiety!

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer
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Finding Power in Rest

February 11th, 2023
I’ve dubbed myself a late bloomer because I did just about everything a little later than I expected. I found strength and independence in my late twenties when I started questioning things, stopped substituting the judgment of authority figures for my own, and left the job I’d fought so hard to get. That started a domino effect of discoveries. I found my voice when I moved across the country, I found my greatest ally when I allowed myself to take up space, I found rest when I got married, and I found true power in the vulnerability of rest.

I risk alienating myself from the boss babes and feminists, but I must say it—marriage is the best, hardest, most restful thing I’ve experienced. I was told not to let a man change me, but marriage has done just that.

After decades of hustling and forcing myself into ill-fitting spaces, all to avoid insignificance and escape the person I might be, I’ve found rest. It’s not what I thought rest would be; it brings to mind the New Testament idea of “labour[ing] to enter into that rest” and Lewis’s description of the hero figure as not “safe” but “good.”

By rest, I mean something I’m only beginning to understand. Those who have tasted it know it’s not easily defined. It’s neither laziness nor toil. It’s finding flow. It’s simultaneously strong and vulnerable and always authentic.

Being in an honest relationship with a strong individual who is anything but “safe” but oh so “good” forced me to address the things I was happy to ignore before. My self-sabotaging ego did not go quietly into the night. My fears of falling apart and losing part of myself all came true, but in such a beautiful way.

The safety of marriage allowed me and my body the space to finally confront the physical and emotional healing I had put off for so long. It is just so delicious that the most important work of my life started from a place of rest.

I said during our wedding ceremony that I’ve lived so many lives but they were all small because I was wrapped up in myself. Now, after a lot of work and the love of a resilient man who isn’t threatened by me or any of my struggles, I can say I’m bigger and better and stronger and braver and more creative.

I’m not changing the world like I once strove to, but I work hard everyday to enter into rest and to act from that place of rest. My life is arguably insignificant, save in the eyes of my little family and small circle of friends, but it feels authentic and it fits.

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer
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What To Do When Your Doctor Doesn’t Listen

February 3rd, 2023
If I had a dollar for every time doctors, friends, and family members have suggested that I am “just fine” and that my symptoms are “all in my head,” I could probably cover the cost of the countless procedures, supplements, and services I’ve employed on my healing journey.

The beautiful thing about life is that nothing happens in a vacuum, and the path to physical wellness might just teach us a few lessons and develop new abilities, such as following our own intuition and having confidence in our own opinions and preferences. I strongly urge you to advocate for yourself and to find both a close circle and healthcare providers who listen and work to find answers (even if your issues aren’t immediately diagnosable).

I sincerely hope you won’t need this advice, but my experience and statistics indicate that you may. Over 12 million people in the US alone are affected by errors in diagnosis, and women and minorities are far more likely to be misdiagnosed, overlooked, and brushed aside by medical professionals.

… so I hope you can learn from my mistakes!

Here are my top six tips for what to do when your doctor doesn’t listen:

1. Order your own labs. There are plenty of independent companies that allow you to order your labs and receive the results directly. I also recommend paying someone to review the labs in plain English with you. Connie Nightingale ( @conniebegonnie ) was a godsend for me!

2. Document! Take copious notes at each appointment, and make sure your doctors document each recommendation and any time they deny one of your requests. This is important for the record, for any other doctors you see, and for your own understanding of your healing journey.

3. Ask lots of questions. Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor for clarification and for reasoning for each recommendation and decision. Also, it is a great idea to ask your doctor for examples of patients with similar symptoms and how they responded to certain protocols.

4. Get a second opinion. If you question a recommendation or diagnosis, talk to another doctor. If your current doctor discourages the input of other medical professionals, this is a red flag! It indicates this person is operating in ego and uncomfortable with being challenged or collaborating with others.

5. Educate yourself. Research your symptoms and recommended protocols before making any decisions. It’s 2023 people! We have an abundance of resources at our fingertips.

6. Fire them. You are the boss in the situation. Don’t let the white coat intimidate you. If a doctor isn’t listening to you or getting results, find one who will. Use your local network to obtain recommendations of doctors that align with your goals, beliefs, and preferences.

If you’d like my recommendations, I’ve listed a few below:
- I am finally seeing a positive trajectory by working with Kristen Smith (@kristensmithdpt) of Nutrition Dynamic (@nutrition_dynamic). She has been more than willing to listen to and incorporate my preferences and to collaborate with my hordes of other practitioners.
- Dr. David Johnson of Kootenai Health has helped to get answers to some of my gut issues with cutting-edge research and time-honored, data-based decision making.
- Katie Hall, of Selkirk Endocrinology, is uniquely talented in explaining complex hormonal processes and in patiently allowing me to drive my own treatment.
- Jan Nelson, of the M3 Clinic, takes a practical, natural approach to bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.
- Megan Del Corral, of Advance Vitality HRT, takes a functional approach to hormone issues and is helping me find and address the root causes of my imbalances.
- Connie Nightingale is an online functional health and fitness coach who has the brilliant ability to explain lab results in plain english and help you to take matters into your own hands.
The wild truth is that there is a lot about the body that the medical field still doesn’t understand. Beyond the intricacies of our beautiful bodies, each person is so unique that medical problems and solutions are rarely one-size-fits-all. You are the only one who truly knows your body and you are the only one who can effectively advocate for yourself and your body.

I hope these tips help empower you to take control of your health.

I would love to continue this conversation! You can find me on the ‘gram at @bailey_bowerman

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer
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The Best is Yet to Come

January 23rd, 2023
I turned 34 this month, and my month-long celebration culminated in a beautiful evening with some of the most powerful women in my life. We met at the Glow Co in Spokane for a beautiful fusion class with the dynamic Angela Boulet. We moved, poured into each other, and got a little outside our comfort zones. As I sit basking in the glow of such a beautiful night, I can’t help but feel that this is my favorite age so far.

I’m solidly in my thirties now, and I wear that with honor. I thought I’d resist aging as my mom did (she longingly talks of being 23, wishing to stay that age forever), but I find myself donning each new age with satisfaction, cozying up in its newness. One of the benefits of blooming late is that the value of age and wisdom is a little clearer for me.

Make no mistake, youthful beauty should not be underrated. It is a gift, and I encourage those who have it to wear it like a crown. Unfortunately, despite best efforts and the many technological advances we enjoy, youth and beauty will fade; we have no control over that. I’m definitely aging; being married to a younger man makes me all too aware of that fact. Perhaps my hottest, most supple years are behind me, but I firmly believe that the best is yet to come, for wisdom, stature, and favor grow if we foster them.

I’m objectively less young and hot, but I know I’m objectively better and so proud of that.

I am proud of the wisdom I’ve gained.

I am proud of my virtue.

I am proud of the value I bring to every interaction and project.

I am proud of the way the energy shifts when I enter a room.

I am proud of how I make people feel.

I am proud of my marriage.

I am proud of my relationship with myself.

I am proud of my vulnerability.

I am proud of my resilience.

I am proud of my boundaries.

These things will only get better each year, and they make me feel more beautiful than ever.

Because of my experiences, each day, each mundane moment, carries more weight and more beauty for me. I carry with me every experience from the past 34 years.

The sunrise is more vivid, because I know what it’s like to see it rise on good days and bad. I remember sunrises in Russia and El Salvador. I remember sunrises after nights of studying and nights of dance parties.

Hugs are more delicious, because I know what it’s like to crave safety and true intimacy.

Leisure is sweeter, because I remember hustling and wondering if I’d ever find rest.

Books are more stimulating, because I bring with me every word I’ve ever read.

My age and experience give a delicious context for new experiences. In my mind, the beauty I gain is a fair trade for the beauty that fades.

For all of these reasons and so many more, I’m thrilled to be 34 and can say with confidence: THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

I’d love to continue this conversation! Find me on the ‘gram at @bailey_bowerman

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer
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A Late Bloomer’s Take on Resolutions

January 10th, 2023
We’re officially 10 days into 2023. The holidays are over, Capricorn season is in full swing, and January has once again surprised me by how NOT chill it is (January and I have that in common apparently).

Despite being a classic Capricorn, I have never properly set New Year’s resolutions, and this year that changed.

I’ve always had great reasons for skipping this annual ritual. At times, I resisted it because I had no desire to join the throngs who, swept up in yet another mainstream cultural tradition, disappoint themselves before Aries season even starts. Other times, I resisted simply due to my sneaky and only sometimes advantageous aversion to obligation. While I love structure and achievement, I hate it when I’m expected to act/feel a certain way at a certain time of year. I even have a vague memory of a more douchey version of myself telling some poor soul, who made the mistake of asking about my resolutions, that “I seek excellence always, so I don’t see a reason for resolutions in January.” (MASSIVE FACEPALM).

Unsurprisingly, the truth is far less soap box-worthy and more cringe-worthy. Isn’t it cute that we get so self-righteous when we’re resisting something that is in our best interest?

Luckily, the latter half of my twenties and beginning of my thirties produced a far more open-minded, far less obtuse Bailey. Here I am, solidly in my mid-thirties, doing almost nothing that has ever been expected of me, BUT I made resolutions and sent out Christmas Cards (a topic for another post).

I have come to the pleasantly horrifying conclusion that I resisted setting clear goals because they would shed light on my deficiencies and make failure possible. After all, one who observes from an ivory tower rarely gets stuck in the mud. And without defined success, I would never have to admit to myself that I failed. I could keep myself busy checking off lists and looking productive. I could fool everyone (including myself) into thinking I was accomplishing things.

Talk about sabotage . . .

Needless to say, in my infinite 34-year-old wisdom, I sat down a mere 10 days into the new year and made some clearly defined, realistic goals for myself this year. In the spirit of vulnerability and transparency (the mainstays of this blog), I’ll share mine (well, most of them;))
1. Blog Weekly
2. Practice Meditation or Breath Work 5x Weekly
3. Re-Acquaint Myself with Spanish (enough to have a full conversation)
4. Gain Enough Weight to Workout with Amanda Wilson Again
5. Throw At Least 3 Parties
6. Coordinate At Least 3 More Giveaways
I would love for you all to keep me accountable! If I fail, I fail. This is the first year I have any chance of true success.

What are your thoughts on resolutions? Do you make them? Do you keep them? If you make them, what are yours this year?

Let’s keep the conversation going! find me @bailey_bowerman

let’s Chat!

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer
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a Late Bloomer Reflects on the Holidays

December 30th, 2022
Am I the only one who gets triggered by the holidays?

I find myself acting from a far less secure, far less evolved, far more fearful place. At these banner moments, with so much pressure to present my best, feel my best, and do my best, I struggle to embrace the spirit of the festivities.

If you’re anything like me, all holidays have the potential to bring excitement, nostalgia, and the worst version of myself. Along with gratitude and a desire for coziness comes a lot of pressure and stress. Finding just the right gift, making picture perfect memories, creating hygge whenever possible, and keeping up with the endless expectations can make the holidays anything but peaceful and harmonious.

I often obsess over insignificant details and pick fights. I transform from the 33-year-old I love and love being to varying versions of a younger, less savory Bailey.

I might wake up as a tightly-wound law student, a teen wanting so badly to measure up, or a child outsider. From now on, I choose to accept this with patient curiosity. Instead of resisting, I choose to lean into the dissonance. I choose to learn what I can from the young Bailey who manifests and make sure she knows that I love her, I forgive her, I understand her struggle, and I’m so thankful she did her best.

Even as I wrote this article this year, I found myself running all over town obsessing over insignificant details of my outfits and the right dessert to bring to each gathering, all while missing the chance to savor the magic of this time of year and enjoy time with my husband.

I believe the stress placed on these details is rooted in a belief that I’m not good enough, that if I fail to present a picture perfect exterior, everyone will see past my facade and find out what I know to be true.

Perhaps the solution isn’t simplifying my obligations, setting spending limits, or shopping local. Perhaps the solution is digging out the belief that I’m not good enough and replacing it with a firm conviction that I am valuable regardless of how any one day or one picture or one impression turns out.

IN CONCLUSION

I’d love to continue the conversation about taking the CRAZY out and infusing more peace into the holidays through intentionality! Find me on Instagram @bailey_bowerman if you have any questions about my recommendations or have any further insight!

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer
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Welcome!

December 30th, 2022

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a self-proclaimed recovering attorney, a recently-realized introvert, a lover of rest, and an all-around late bloomer. I am decidedly NOT outdoorsy, despite being married to an adrenaline junky, and I am currently NOT a boss babe, but I love to support the many women building empires and making changes. My hope is that, in this blog, many boss babes find support and the information they need to catapult forward!

I spent most of my life in a library, living an almost monk-like existence, fully committed to excellence, academics, and all of the shoulds that I accepted with open arms. Instead of settling into the comfortable, disciplined life everyone assumed the good-girl overachiever would live, I surprised everyone when I broke off my engagement to a fellow attorney, left the practice of law, and moved to the Inland Northwest. I believe I finally began to bloom when packed my life into my Hyundai Elantra and made the cross-country trek. With three degrees, little real-life experience, and unfounded optimism, I found myself experiencing life, making decisions, and making mistakes for the first time in my late twenties.

My body endured decades of hustling, listening to everyone but myself, and being forced into ill-fitting spaces. When I found myself in the emotional, fiscal, and physical safety of marriage, my body sensed that it was safe to talk, and it started SCREAMING.

It turns out that functioning on adrenaline, fumes, and fear of failure, will eventually catch up with you. For me, it manifested with gut dysbiosis, depleted mineral stores and adrenals, non-existent sex hormones, severe infections, and infertility.

It’s been about 7 years since I left the legal field, 5 years since I left the Midwest, and over 2 years since I started an intentional mental, emotional, and physical healing journey. I’ve transformed several times, lived several lives, and made peace with myself.

I started this blog to share my healing journey in hopes that others will feel less lonely as they struggle with eating disorders, mental health, fertility, gut health, or any other chronic, isolating health issue.

Here’s to letting go of all of the “shoulds,” clinging to authenticity, removing the taboo from the struggle, and finding space to BLOOM!

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer

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IN CONCLUSION

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